We will never shame a gift-giver who means well. But the first step in gifted gift giving is knowing what not to buy. When our friends and family start worrying about what to buy the wine lover who has everything, they've probably already taken a step in the wrong direction, the one that leads to Watermelon Fruitscato “wine” and "Smells Like Wine O'Clock" candles. Consider this list a gentle nudge for our loved ones that need to be reminded that all we want from them is to spend time together. 

And a bottle of '78 Barolo.

Bad wine gift ideas:

Wine Aerators

As much as Big Wine tries to make aerators happen—have you ever seen a wine professional use one in a restaurant, winery, retail shop, or on social media? I mean, if you need to "soften"an everyday red, pour it through a tea strainer. Some wines—most, even—don't need aeration, and anyway, we already have two trusted aerators: Decanters and swirling. Neither are an exact science, but once you've had a reductive wine blow off in the glass after a few shakes reveal its true character, you can no longer deny the swirl.

Wine-Scented Anything

Buying scented anything for others is a tricky proposition. The beauty in smelling wine is going back to the glass with fresh olfactory glands to see what unfolds over time, not to fill our rooms or coat our bodies in it. (Possible exceptions could be made for Condrieu and old Brunello.) Wine-scented candles, soaps, room sprays, and the like start veering into the "funny" category. Hell, even wine often doesn't smell like wine. Also, while we’re at it: substitute "taste" for "smell" and skip the wine-infused chocolates, candies, etc. too. 

"Outdoor" Stemware

If someone has powerful feelings about using completely different glassware for the porch versus the dining room, they've probably always purchased accordingly. Best not to assume that someone prefers plastic, stemless, disposable, or other depressing options. Many of us are fine bringing precarious Zaltos to a picnic (see: glass totes, below). A better solution is, like people who have the "good china," a set of less expensive but still serviceable wine glasses when fear of breakage is heightened. 

“Fun” Wine Gifts

Your chef friends don’t want the Potty Mouth Food adult coloring book, and, for the love of all that’s holy, no one wants "Jesus Touched My Water" wine glasses either. There are some very cute and clever wine products out there, but there's a chasm between a "Corks are for Quitters" tee shirt and a finely-rendered "RUN DRC" logo tee. Ridding the wine world of pretense shouldn't equate to infantilizing.

Wine Totes 

There are some gorgeous wine totes out there. The problem is, rarely are we bringing more than one or two bottles somewhere, and then you have to remember to take back your tote at the end of the night (not to mention delicately explaining to your host that only the wine was meant for them, not the beautiful bag they have their eyes on). What’s actually useful is a glass tote—it can be game-changing to bring your own cherished glassware to wineries, tasting groups, and picnics—or wine luggage, i.e. suitcases with bottle protection built in. 

Tinted Glassware

Yes, there are some mid-century Scandinavian or Venetian wine glasses in, say, smoke or celeste blue that can make a lovely gift. But, c’mon, we want to see our wine. The same goes for textured glassware: they can be so nice for water or cocktails, but they’re plain awkward for wine. 

Wine Charms 

I'll admit that the temporary horror of losing your wine glass at a party can feel worse than being pestered by a bauble hanging from the stem, but these unlucky charms have the feel of being a solution for a problem that doesn't exist. At any event congested enough to require wine charms, if you're unsure, you can always restart with a new glass or wipe it clean. Not to mention having to remember which charm is yours—am I the Eiffel Tower or Big Ben? Also they're basically miniature toys. Let's not encourage the kids.

Tasting Journals

If wine nerds don't already have a preferred wine-tasting notebook to bring to tastings, they probably don't need one. At serious tastings, most of us use some combination of our phones or notes with (provided) pen and paper. Also, these tasting journals are usually rigidly formatted, with space-hogging "flavor wheels," multiple choice or fill-in-the-blank categories we don't need—and very little blank space, which is the one thing one actually needs from them. 

Wine Art

For the right person, with the right wall space and the right decor, something like vintage advertising art, wine-region maps, or fine art prints of favorite wineries can be just what they want. Your chances of actually getting that, however, are as slim as an Alsatian Riesling bottle. Tell your friends: Please don't decorate someone else’s walls. 

A Random Bottle

Oh, do we have stories. Someone who doesn’t know your taste in wine spending $50—or $500—on a gift bottle is not the flex they think it is. It’s rarely the wine you like, it comes with a near-obligation to share it at a meal or party where it doesn't fit, it may even be a size (magnum, split, or unusually-shaped bottle) that you can't accommodate in your wine racking or fridge. And, as we all know, price doesn't equal value: A $50 wine can be a bargain at twice the price—or it might pale against a well-chosen $15 gem. 

What to ask for instead:

Back-vintage bottle: If you can point a pal or family member in the right direction, any vintage that's no longer available in stores is a great gift. Send them to the likes of Winebid.

Books: Some newer books we love include Ray Isle's The World In A Wineglass, Dan Keeling's Who's Afraid of Romanée Conti, The Four Horsemen: Food and Wine For Good Times, and the long-awaited English translation of Pascaline Lepeltier's One Thousand Vines. 

Experiences: Check websites of favorite wine-centric restaurants and wine shops for exclusive tasting or winemaker events. All the better if you do it with a pal who’s not (yet) as into wine as you are. 

Wine-friendly food: Just ensure that no one  gets too clever here. Point them towards great cheese, nuts, charcuterie—and, of course, caviar.